Thomas, Doubtless
Thomas, you're my apostle, the one who had a clue,
And you never shrunk away from the painfulness of the true,
Living at the edge of what was credible, and by extension
uncouth,
Within your hands you grasped truth beyond falling grains of
sands,
Yet you never grabbed the saviour’s skin,
And never forced your fingers in,
You never danced in the dark like they’d like us all to think,
But you walked in light, with truth by your side,
Your guide, so bright,
It was you who knew the saviour’s call and it was you who
would walk willingly to the cross with him,
No chagrin falsehoods held you back,
No cynical contritions were there to distract,
You from his cause,
And I give my thanks to God for you,
For you were the one who stepped beyond the shadows and
recognised the Son,
And your eyes knew the Lord when you saw him,
I love the energy with which you lived out your faith,
Not stopping to pause,
Thomas, your faith was an all in or all out faith,
No second rate stopping to hold back, “backslide” (sic), shy encumbered faith,No wayward walking disgraced faith,
Rather you stepped into the chasm with Jesus as your guide,
You stood beside the saviour while your fellow disciples
held their breath,
They thought you’d put your fingers in the side of that
saviour,
Like they’d never actually registered the words that left
his mouth,
His head hung low, looking out at you and those beyond,
No picture paints this situation and no picture’s worth its
frame,
We’ve cast you as the villain,
And it’s us who should take the blame,
Thomas when I’m older and I look back on my life,
I’ll pray to God for mercy, and for passage through the strife,
And in those hours I’ll remember you and the way you lived your walk,
My God, my God, my God,
May my faith resemble yours,
For while they all were hiding, you were out there on the
street, while they were casting shadows you were somewhere far removed,
Maybe looking for the Christ among the people that you met,
And when you heard the tale about Jesus being present, did
you question this new reality, or wonder about their account?
It’s all a moment snatched from sand in an hour glass,
captured like a Polaroid to paint a picture that deceives, this house of
mirrors can’t hold back this truth,
Thomas in your lifetime you followed the living Lord,
And Thomas since your passing you’ve inspired millions more,
(If you were living
now, you’d be trolled all day on Twitter)
But those of us who know you better and have walked beside
you on your walk, we fear the steps we have to take as we contemplate our Lord,
We tread the paths others have made and we try our damnedest
to be glad, Thomas you inspire, a life like very few others,
And that word that’s hung around your neck, a verbal noose that
must be loosed,
Must be lost, cast down, beside the saviour’s crown of
thorns,
The faith with which you lived is with what your memory
should be adorned.
The words they come too easily to those who’ve never known,
the words they come to easily to those whose feet have never flown,
But in purest terms you followed,
And that’s all we have to give,
So offering my cracked clay facade I will walk this path
with you,
I’ll hope to follow him closely,
And I’ll try to know it’s true,
And with every step I take and every inhalation I make,
My breath will echo you,
This faith will be enacted,
This resurrection be embodied,
This dream will be built on foundations of longing And hope.
Rest now Thomas, and let the labels be laid down,
For in this generation, in you a Saint’s veneration has been
found.
Thomas, Doubtless is a stream of consciousness poem written in 6 minutes.
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